Urgently Required: Senior Anti-Hacking Engineer.
Due to a recent security breach of one of our leading A-List clients, we are now seeking an expert Anti-Hacking Engineer to join us on a full-time basis in our luxurious London offices.
You must have at least ten years experience in protecting premium musical assets online, digitally and in an analogue capacity (having just okay computer skills will not be sufficient). We are especially interested in candidates who can ensure that legacy format material (e.g. mini discs) can be prevented from being leaked and held to ransom by some creep (fortunately, the band did not hail to the thief).
It is essential that you remain up-to-date and ahead of the curve, in regard to the latest cyber threats, theft techniques and hacking procedures. We were recently caught unawares when an antiquated offline medium was somehow hacked and 18 hours of extremely valuable recorded music history were compromised. This was the first time ever that a collection of offline devices has been hacked and as such this is one of the most challenging developments in musical crime in recent years. Prior to this, the only known breach of this type of audio format has been from burglary or theft.
We require an individual who will take full personal responsibility for our security offerings. We have no interest in your application if you respond to issues with the attitude of 'it is not my fault'.
Our technical infrastructure will require you to work across a diverse range of hardware and software solutions. You will need to complete an extensive CRB check prior to a job offer. We appreciate that this may feel excessive but after recent events, we are a little paranoid. Android and iOS knowledge will help set you apart from other applicants as we launch our forthcoming mobile security platform.
We let down a client by allowing them to be hacked. Due to a swift response, the band were not extorted and they managed to turn the event into a positive. However, we have learned our lesson and are going to ensure that no surprises arise from now on. This can be your chance to make a name for yourself in the music industry by ensuring the safety of our clients' musical legacies.
Apply today with a covering letter, your CV and a link to your portfolio.
We look forward to your application. Be lucky!#